jewel on line at last

This is my personal weblog where I get to be as crabby as I want to be.


How Crabby Am I?

Well, how crabby would you be if you read an article like this one? It's about man bags (no, NOT what you're thinking!) and has this line in it: Finally, men and women should try to stay safe by not displaying the contents of their bags to thieves. Right. I had no idea I was putting myself in danger by locating thieves (thank goodness for the I'm A Thief! arrow emblazoned on their heads!) and showing them the contents of my purse. No more of that for me!

And then there's this one which begins with this line: Security analysts spotted a gaping security hole in Fox News Network LLC's Web site on Monday. What's the big deal you say? Good for those Security Analysts! Except that yesterday there was this post on Slashdot which makes you think somebody is lying or conflating the phrase Security Analysts with someone who happens to know about technology stumbling upon a stupid network configuration

I haven't posted here because I've been finishing grad school (all done!!) and writing my next book, which is due August 1. eek!

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New Year's Crab

Well, once again I've been busy, and crabby, too. Today, however, not so much. I have a new agent, for one thing, and she got me a great deal for my next two paranormals. My last book earned out and then some, so there's money headed my way, plus the advance for the new books. The anthology story came out pretty good. The dems are in control of congress and I'm in my last semester of grad school, so, like, yeah, thinks aren't too shabby. That's not to say I'm not crabby about some things:

1. Windows Vista is going to force me to a Mac or Linux. I just can't see upgrading to an OS that gives me reduced control and reduced functionality all because I am presumed to be criminally intent on pirating content. Uh, Microsoft, no. I'm not. So now I need to save money for a Mac I guess, or invest the time in learning how to install Ubuntu. Crap. That really makes me crabby.

2. My MP3 player (cost me $35!! and it worked when far more expensive ones were so sucky as to be actually unusable) is finally busted. Now, after three years loyal service, I guess I need a new one. Only I know they're all junk and I'm dreading the whole experience/expense. I don't want an iPod because of the DRM baloney and getting stuck with only iTunes, but even if I said the heck with that and ponied up to the Apple happy-wagon, see #1 above. I can't afford an iPod.

3. The war in Iraq and all the freaky scary talk about Iran. Holy moly! Washington is insane.

4. The iPhone looks so freaking beautiful I want one just to look at it, but I'm hearing little rumblings... Oh, and that reminds me!

5. I am WAY crabby about cell phones. I had to replace my son's cell (twice, but I won't tell that story now) and ended up getting him an unlocked RAZR. I cannot effen believe how great and wonderful an locked phone is. His phone is lovely, it comes with cool stuff that works. My Cingular Crippled RAZR sucks in comparison. SUCKS majorly I tell you. I am never ever buying a phone with service again. Trust me. Don't drink that cheap Kool-Aid any more. Cell phone consumers, we are being ripped off!

6. There must be something else... Like my car getting rear-ended and totaled when I only had $1400 left to pay on it. That made me crabby for sure.

General Crabbiness Level: low at the beginning of this post. Sky high now.

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Wow, long time no crab

Was July really the last time I posted here? Wow. Well, I've been crabby, that's for sure. What about? Stuff like people who want to be writers but don't want to do what it takes to write. Also, I'm waiting for the elections because politicians make me crabby. I'm also crabby today because I'm feeling a bit like I'm coming down with a cold. Ick. General crabbiness level today: moderately high.


Poetry in Spam (Literary Analysis Free)

From one of my email addresses:

Your cash, nail caster
Translation: A typical Marxian comment on the post-post Modern society, turned round on itself by the casting of nails, referencing by similarity the ancient shamanistic ritual casting bones to foretell the future. A nice foreshadowing of the following two lines.
Your future, pater patratus
The references to the future and the unknowable continue, with the clear reference to Catholicism and Satanic ritual.
Your future, passion-kindling
The poet is advising the reader to write a Romance Novel.*
Your health, office hours
But only if she/he quits the day job.
Luxury Timepieces
The bell tolls for thee, baby. In style.

Look, I didn't say it would be good lit analysis. I'm terrible at interpreting poems anyway.

*Did that. 5 times so far. Plus an anthology.


Please help: missing

Author Marjorie Jone's daughter is missing. Take a look at this page, and keep your eyes open. You never know.



People who don't answer emails

Oh, boy, I'm crabby. Why? I've been writing a story for an Anthology I'm in. Cool project. My editor contacts the Crimson City authors, says, hey, I have a July 2007 slot open, you guys interested in doing an Anthology? Yeses all around. The due date, says Mr. Editor, would be June 1 (this would be mid March, by the way) word length of 15-20K words. So, the whole thing's a go by April. Hmm. I think, June 1? Double Hmm. Full time job. School. Soccer mom thing. Holy shit! I asked twice if the due date was really June 1. No reply from Mr. Editor, who is in all other respects, fabulous. OK. I calculate how many words per day I need to finish with time for editing, getting it to readers and re-editing factored in. The answer? 857. Cool. I knuckle down and do so. I email my agent and my editor. Is the due date really June 1? No reply. I finish at 22K, and freak. It's too long! I cut a story line and tighten it beyond belief and I overnight the MS at 20,436 words on May 30th. My contract arrived yesterday and I read it today so I can send it back all signed and get my check.

Here's the words that count: Delivery date: June 15
Word Count: No less than 15,000 no greater than 25,000


Ala. Candidate's Views Startle Democrats - Yahoo! News

Just shaking my crabby little head in saddness and disappointment. 12% of the vote?